


Just A Spoonful

by jedusaur



Category: Bandom, Hesher (2010)
Genre: Crossover, Drugs, M/M, Touring
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-08-04
Updated: 2011-08-04
Packaged: 2017-10-22 05:11:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/234201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jedusaur/pseuds/jedusaur
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's actually something of a relief when Frank walks onto the bus to find Gerard learning how to sabotage a car. It's better than the last time, anyway, when he was trying to snort coke through a rolled-up condom wrapper. Or the time before, when he was passed out in a pile of glass shards. All things considered, wrecking random cars would be a step up for him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just A Spoonful

It's actually something of a relief when Frank walks onto the bus to find Gerard learning how to sabotage a car. It's better than the last time, anyway, when he was trying to snort coke through a rolled-up condom wrapper. Or the time before, when he was passed out in a pile of glass shards. All things considered, wrecking random cars would be a step up for him.

"What kind of sugar?" Gerard is asking when Frank comes in.

"Depends how much you hate the person who's driving," says a ragged-looking guy with long hair. "Use powdered if you just want the engine to stop. The grainy kind will get in the gears and fuck shit up for real."

Frank wrinkles his nose. The body odor in this place is at record levels, and he knows Gerard showered less than three days ago, so this guy must be really rank.

"Hey, Frank," says Gerard, looking up. His feet are in the guy's lap.

"'Sup," says Frank. "We're leaving in like five minutes, so you might wanna wrap up your conversation here."

"Oh, Hesher's riding with us," says Gerard. He turns back to his filthy friend. "So how far ahead of time do you have to do it? I mean, sugar doesn't dissolve in gas, right?"

Frank rummages around in the bathroom for the air freshener and sprays it around. Neither of them seem to notice.

***

Either Gerard is doing fewer drugs, or Frank's perspective is messed up by the sheer amount of drugs Hesher does. Ray starts gathering up all the needles and roaches and razors lying around and putting them in the sink of the tiny bus kitchen, which they never use anyway. Some of them are Gerard's, and a few of them are other people's, but the vast majority of the pile is from Hesher.

Frank has no idea where Hesher came from or why he's allowed to stay on the bus. Probably because Gerard pretty much gets what he wants, and for some reason, he wants Hesher. Gerard adores the man, probably because of his knack for dodging consequences. Gerard has never been good at that.

Hesher seems to know people in every city on the tour. It makes sense, if mooching rides on tour buses is his standard MO. He always disappears for a few hours before shows, reappearing with a brand-new stock of baggies and syringes. Frank has no idea how he can afford to stay so fucked up all the time. He moshes in the pit during their shows, and creates a pit if there isn't one, and headbangs and crowdsurfs and sometimes punches people in the face.

He punches Frank in the face once, when they're sitting around the bus with Gerard asleep between them. He's got this curious expression on his face while he does it, like he just wants to find out how Frank will react. Frank promptly punches him right back. Hesher looks satisfied and doesn't escalate.

The next day, they have matching bruises blossoming across their cheekbones. Gerard asks about them. Frank doesn't tell him, and he doesn't think Hesher does either.

***

"He wants to fuck you," says Hesher.

Frank doesn't look up from his book.

"He likes to get wasted off his ass and tell me how much he wants to fuck you. I tell him he should fucking do it already if he wants to so bad, and he just shakes his head like a fucking pussy and gets even more wasted."

Frank finds a Q on the page and stares at it, focusing all his attention on that one letter. He tries really hard to keep himself so busy looking at the Q that he doesn't have enough spare energy to rip Hesher's balls off.

"He's a pussy, but at least he's an honest pussy. Fucking hairy and stinky and won't apologize for shit. You, you're the kind of pussy that stays all trimmed and douched-out 'cause you're afraid of what all the dicks will think." Hesher shakes his head, the ends of his hair brushing against his bare chest. "Fuck him or I will. I don't think you want that."

Frank loses it. He drops his book and dives on top of Hesher, kneeing him in the stomach and jamming an elbow into his sternum. "Leave him _alone_ , you dipshit asshole," he growls and bites Hesher's ear.

Hesher moans like Frank just swallowed his cock and turns his head to give Frank better access. Frank bites harder just to teach him a lesson about being careful what he asks for, but it doesn't work. There's blood on Frank's tongue and his teeth nearly meet through Hesher's earlobe, but Hesher is still moaning, and when Frank lets go and gets off him, he can see through Hesher's ratty jeans that his dick is hard.

Fucking attention whore. Frank leaves him there. Later, when Ray starts asking questions, he pretends he doesn't know where the blood on the couch came from. It's easy enough to blame Gerard--he blacks out so often that he'll apologize for anything just in case he's forgotten he did it.

***

Sometimes Hesher catches Frank's eye and touches his scarring earlobe. It's an invitation, or maybe a threat. Either way, Frank ignores it.

He doesn't think Hesher is actually fucking Gerard, but they share needles and hallucinatory wet dreams and inside jokes, so he might as well be.

***

Subway sandwiches are not Frank's favorite, but there aren't a whole lot of vegetarian options available on the road, so he takes what he can get. He's just finishing the first half of his footlong when Hesher drops into the seat across from him and rips off a piece of the remaining sandwich half, stuffing it in his mouth.

"Dude," says Frank. "Boundaries. That's my fucking sandwich."

Hesher unwraps a ziploc baggie full of weed from around his pipe.

"No." Frank is pissed now. "You don't get to ignore me. You don't even have a right to be here, much less a right to steal food from me. Apologize."

Hesher finishes packing the pipe and offers it to Frank. Granted, that probably is an apology to him, but Frank doesn't speak junkie. "That's it," he says. "Get off my fucking bus. Walk out that door and do not fucking come back."

Hesher calmly gets up from the table and walks over to Mikey's bunk. He pulls back the curtain. Mikey, wearing headphones, blinks at him. Hesher grabs Mikey's foot and tugs off his sock. He digs a lighter out of his pocket, sets the sock on fire, and drops it on Frank's sandwich.

Frank screeches and bangs his head against the wall behind him. The fire ignites the bread, then starts melting the plastic bag it's sitting on. The smell of burning plastic fills the air. Gerard rushes out from the back of the bus, sees the fire, and grabs the plaid flannel shirt hanging from Hesher's shoulder to beat it out.

Frank doesn't answer the questions about what happened. Hesher doesn't either. Their gazes are locked, and even though they're not talking, there's more communication going on than they've ever managed through words.

That night, in the back lounge, Frank tears Hesher's long matted hair out in handfuls as he fucks his mouth. Hesher is loud enough about having his throat fucked that Frank doesn't bother to be quiet about fucking it. Gerard's going to know anyway. Discretion isn't part of Hesher's conceptual vocabulary.

***

If there were some kind of blowout, Frank could handle it, but that's not what happens. Gerard doesn't say anything. He just goes on the biggest bender of his life and nearly ODs on three different drugs, that's all.

It's pretty much Frank's fault, so he's the one who sits up with Gerard and makes sure he doesn't suffocate on his own vomit. Gerard isn't really aware enough to be able to tell who's bringing him water and changing his pants when he pisses them, but it makes Frank feel a little bit better. At least he knows Gerard isn't going to actually kill himself while he's there.

Hesher stays away. He starts riding on The Used's bus more often, and Frank sees him shooting up with Bert a lot. Gerard would be heartbroken if he were lucid enough to notice. Frank's pretty sure he thought he and Hesher had something.

"Naw," says Hesher when Frank expresses this with hostility. "I'm not into dudes. I just like to fuck shit up."

It's a good thing for him that he's found a new place to hitchhike, because Frank doesn't let him back on the bus after that.

Gerard doesn't stop doing drugs. He doesn't get over his hangups and confront Frank about the sex, either. Frank is glad of that. He'll bring it up someday, if Gerard is ever clean and able to talk about it, but Frank isn't holding his breath for that to happen. He's just keeping close, ready to hold Gerard's hair back while that's what he needs.

***

He catches Gerard trying to open the gas tank of the tour bus at four in the morning, a bag of confectioner's sugar propped against his shin. It's dark, and when Gerard turns to look at him, the whites of his eyes are huge. "I'm so done, Frank," he whispers, small and lost. "I just need to stop."

"Come on." Frank takes Gerard's hand, pulls him away from the gas and the sugar. "Let's go to bed."


End file.
